Monday, April 6, 2009

in which world am I stuck?

It was late evening. As usual I had my dinner early and as planned headed for the terrace of the unfinished building. Being afraid of heights, the climb was scary to say the least. But the effort was well paid for. The breeze had this eerie effect and set a tempo for the rest of the evening. Lying on my back, I was counting the stars that I heard a sound from the other corner of the building. A girl in white sari had also climbed up the building was sitting by the edge. Her hair was left loose and was blowing in the breeze. She had this dreamy, sad expression on her face. The strange part was that I called her by some name (i don't remember) and she got up, came near me and sat by my side.

But the strangest part was that she looked at me and asked why I hated myself. I must say I don't hate myself per se. Everyone has complaints. My complaint register runs miles and miles in length and I admit that if I had a chance I would have done some things better. I can (with much confidence) say that I made many mistakes and that I've spent far too many nights regretting them but I don't hate myself. But the case was different. I heard myself saying wierd things to her. I heard myself saying that I hated myself for not growing up. For being such an open book. People could see through my feelings as if I was nothing but a silly see-through gown. People read my feelings as if I was a damn page out of a bloody Jeffrey Archer novel. I hated myself for not knowing occlumency. I looked in her eyes, my eyes searching for solace but there was none. And then suddenly she said, "You know you can jump from here." I first laughed and then felt angry that how could she even say something like that. But before I could anything she was gone. I felt a slight jerk and awoke with a start.

Soon I realized that it was a dream.
I sat up and looked at the sky. Then I stood up and walked to the edge of the building. My legs were shaking as if any moment they would betray me and I would fall. Taking some half a dozen steps back, I looked forward, took a deep breath. Gathering some momentum I ran forward and jumped out of the building. But before the rubble and dust could come and kiss me I awoke cold and shivering, my temples drenched with sweat. Now this is the part where I should say that I'm happy that the nightmare was behind me. But oddly enough I felt a pang of relief run through my body.

****

[epilogue] - Walking past the library, I gazed at the building concentrating at the part from where I had jumped and traced the path to the ground. I closed my eyes and imagined something heavy hit the ground. I went to the spot and looked at it carefully that I was reminded of what Morpheus said in The Matrix.

"Have you ever had a dream, Neo, that you were so sure was real. What if you were unable to wake from that dream. How would you know the difference between the dream world and the real world?"

7 comments:

aniket said...

Reading your posts is like taking a journey to some place deep within yourself. But what makes every journey unique and fun is the typical Sashidharesque crests and troughs one chugs along on, on the way.

Do keep writing. It makes new destinations more accessible and the bumps on the way remain snappier as ever :)

Anonymous said...

優良的LED工廠所生產的LED,是世界品質第一的LED
裡面的員工都是穿著制服,裡面的室內設計也很優,初二十六要去香舖買香拜拜,led的網站設計空間設計更優,老板也要結婚了,所以找了婚禮錄影
婚禮顧問內的室內設計創業加盟的那一間好多了,結婚玩要去有名的天堂鳥宜蘭民宿玩,是在宜蘭民宿
沒錢就去汽車借款來玩好了

車燈來看看唷!
情趣用品對一般人來說充滿神秘動人的吸引力,許多人想一窺情趣用品究竟,卻又不敢太過接近,因為這個領域充斥著謠言與標籤、讓許多人深怕一碰及就會讓別人投射以異樣的眼光看待。

如果大家稍微留意一下,不難可以發現一些事,大多人在逛街時對每一間情趣用品用品店的櫥窗都會向內張望後姍姍離去,有一些人卻是假裝目不斜視的走過。畢竟台灣人的觀念並沒有像國外一樣的開放,所以還無法很公開與光明正大的踏進情趣用品去選購一些情趣用品
 
利用網路購物的方式去選購情趣用品是相當方便的一件事情,可以從網頁上獲得商品的詳細介紹而不必害羞的去詢問店員商品的使用方法,並且在商品的介紹上面也不亞於從店員那獲得的資訊,有些甚至還更詳細一些。
 
在台灣有許多情趣用品訂購網站,從以前只有少樣的情趣用品用品到今日數百種的情趣用品看來,這種促進閨房之樂的東西已經漸漸地為人們所接受與喜愛。

但以目前的市場來說,絕大部分的情趣用品網站皆以銷售台灣、大陸製造的情趣用品居多。原因很簡單:成本低廉,卻也因此犧牲了品質和安全性!情趣用品是直接與自己和最親密的另一半的身體接觸,為了節省一點點的金錢而選擇品質粗糙的廉價黑心情趣用品,實為相當不智的選擇。

a片是一種藝術,媽媽說未滿十八不能看a片,看到很多人在做SEO排名沒有一定的規則,seoseo是什麼

我想買一台二手車來開,車行的室內設計很優
我家的室內設計很差,led自行車燈很亮
我家在新竹搬家公司要打哪隻電話才能搬家,室內設計做最好的又是哪家
搞不懂網路行銷是什麼!這麼多人在搞說



因為付不起二胎房貸,所以被迫在台北搬家的十種簡單方法
躲去清境民宿就沒人找的到人,快找搬家公司徹夜搬家,旁邊還有人拿加油棒替我加油XD!把室內設計也通通搬光好了!反正這家的室內設計設計的很棒照明也很優,好了上網找台北搬家公司服務最好,開著車向前去吧車燈來看看唷! 

Gopal Koduri said...

baaga rasav ra...
antha depression ki karanam mee you-know-who e na? cheppu.. veseddam!

Anonymous said...

enti jeevan vidya cheyyatleda? chestunte intha depression raakoodade!! :P

Abhishek said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Abhishek said...

"I felt a slight jerk and awoke with a start."
and
"I awoke cold and shivering, my temples drenched with sweat."
How come you wake up two times from the same dream??
Oye quite an interesting dream, BTW. The feeling after jumping while you were in air must have been awesome!!

Anonymous said...

yo.. amazing text ))